You know how people usually keep saying how they feel when some one breaks their heart.... that surreal feeling of tightly clenched muscles, the breathlessness as if you've been punched in your face....that dreading sick feeling of a sinking heart.....well i always assumed that was all literature talk.. at least until today!! I feel empty. The one person for whom I've devoted my past two years of time, patience-I never knew I possessed, trying to make sure that the person experiences happiness all the time....All gone in a puff of wind. Trust is indeed too big a word.... I've kicked it from my dictionary today. Its so very weird how artificial people can be. The past few months I've felt pretty good about myself. Though its an empty and lonely life that I am living, I found happiness.... but now all the efforts I had put in now seem funnily insane and not even worth that person's life. I give up finally....I gave it an year and a half....felt all the happiness and unhappiness i could bear...but i guess ENOUGH is ENOUGH! Life without Attachments seems like a brilliant idea...time to put it into practice I've never felt more comfortable with myself ever....its a solitary journey from now.Its never easy to recover when some one close to you kicks you in the gut (literally) and breaks your heart completely! Wonder how long recovery will last now!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand its another perfect day with yet again perfect weather.....a beautiful rainbow was duly and obviously spotted after the city experienced its First monsoon showers......'ear 'ear its the blessed rains finally making an appearance :) and so I am happy !!
I was feeling elated all day coz basically m back to playing my guitar. Its a real tragedy i've ignored the guitar for the most part of the summer. Slash (Guitar Guy) sure did convince me it's time to discover the pure happiness u get when u play music!! I am duly horrified to discover I've lost my touch. So its back to the basics for now !
Oh by the way I am a graduate now (nothing spectacular.. jus' making a casual note) and I've cherished that by watching the Movie The Graduate :P
Also I've made a trip 'cross town to get everyone together to celebrate My Special Uncle's 42nd Birthday. Time to give back everything to the man who made our childhood memorable and gave us cousins a lot to cheer about. Happy Birthday Mani Mama :)
To add spice to my life I've embarked on a little quest. I am hoping it will see success unlike the many other quest's of mine which haven't!
Have a Happy Weekend !!
P.S Roxette-It must have been love......guess it the best ballad ever made!!
Today's been just perfect. A perfect day. The city n its weather for once has been awesome. Those puffy pearly white clouds punctuating the touch me not blue sky was a sight for sore eyes. A constant smile was playing across my face the whole day...well without any reason. We've had a terrible summer in the city so far. So harsh enough for me to consider running away to someplace cool. For an instant I imagined myself as Tom Hanks in Castaway.....:P. lol that island of his is sooooooo perfect....if you are living only for a day or two max.The breeze was so cool n refreshing that...well I got to thinking about a lot of things. Happiness- Should there be a reason to be happy or smile? I guess after today my answer would be No. I've never been this comfortable with myself. It makes sense now when Samantha says I Love Me More. It's very important that you be comfortable with the you that you love. I've bid adieu to confusion and well I can see a new beginning right up my sleeve. In fact last week was just too perfect as well. I've never enjoyed the company of kids anymore than now. There was a time when i swore to practically everyone who heard that I wouldn't have kids if i ever got married. Now I feel foolish n sheepish to have ever thought that. Kids teach you patience, innocence and most importantly they bring out the child in you. Hanging around with my kiddo cousins was a learning experience. The love that they shower you with is the purest form of feeling. Lazing around in the sand, teaching the kids basic soccer, learning about the old times from gran-mom whoa I've never been more content. No, I haven't achieved great heights, I haven't created anything special, I am not making money but yet that satisfaction has been endearing. It's weird sometimes how people measure their lives by the money they earn. Yes, money is the most basic necessity we humans need to survive in a world were people live,marry,kill and do a list of crazy endless stuff for the minted notes. But it seems we ourselves are responsible for bringing about this situation. I continue steadfastly in maintaining a stand that at the end of the day "The world does not run on money". We are talking about saturation. A stage where desires are endless and well u can't match money wid desires. That is a perfect recipe for disaster. The human mind is a complex entity. Learning to train it early can do wonders. I would take the liberty of saying control the mind, but well no one can control the human mind. At least not always. I am amazed at the power we have within ourselves to convince our minds.Its a little easier to control the heart when you've already made peace with your mind. My experiences in the past few weeks totally reckon with the above. Well I can see the winds of life changing directions and I hope for once they blow me over with fresh thoughts about what I can do in this wonderful journey called Life. The formal education is done and the real one begins now.Things that I had considered well impossible to imagine are laughable matters now. I've been living a very misleading life, somehow it wasn't the me I knew. Well m getting back to the old me now and I realize change is imminent. With people, cities, cultures, countries change is what makes things new and maybe not always better but, what's life if you won't budge a little here and there and adjust? Yeah I've made heck a lotta mistakes all along the path. But, weirdly enough I am very happy I made those mistakes. For in the words of Carrie Bradshaw "Maybe the mistakes we make shape our fate n destiny. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. Coz after all seasons change,so do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's very comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart and if you are very lucky, a plane ride away." I rest In Peace :)
P.S. Well since we are talking about new beginnings might as well lend a ear to the magic of Celine Dion. Her voice in this song has well neva been more better. I've moved on to many other genres and artists but this song keeps... well everything alive :) That's the magic of music they say :)
Well they say time just flies by when life gets interesting.....I dunno about the interesting part but yeah time is indeed racing past. It's April already...and I can't seem to remember how exactly I've lived through Feb n March. Last week was pretty interesting though....Got through a lot of pending work and so the weight's off my shoulder for probably another month. Life seems to be a collection of small events as of now, and i seem to be rushing from one to another. The week started of well with a early morning message from Mr.Cool. Yo, M very happy for him...he's about to start a new phase of life...which is quite crucial for him. I did get to finally do some photography of my own......some snaps with basic editing....nothing too complex to start with. I've really started to like my new hobby, its a real pleasure learning something on your own. An acquaintance I acquired in Facebook, is the sole inspiration behind my idea of taking up photography. That guy is a real talent. Well he's a civil engineer so I think its pretty obvious that he's got an eye for photography. I've included a snap i'd shot of my favorite blue-bird. Chirpy little thing!!! I practically spent my lifetime waiting for it to appear by my balcony...and when it finally did....I snapped it in a jiffy!
Later during the week, I met this really interesting guy....he's supposed to be a distant cousin of mine and has traveled half way across the world. Though he'd achieved a lot, at a very young age, I couldn't detect a sense of pride in him. A simple guy...they are rare to find. He got all of us in splits of laughter, with his story of a gay who'd fallen in love with him, and whom he couldn't seem to get rid off. It was a terrific way to spend the weekend, discussing myriad topics with him. Whoa....he's got a pretty good view of the world. I'd always been in two minds regarding my career, and this guy just solved my problem. Oh and I've failed miserably yet again in trying to be punctual. Miss Sweet Smile has decided to buy be an alarm clock which can wake me up, and save her precious time trying to wake me up. What she doesn't know is that the clock will be defunct the very next day with me hammering it dead!! I really can't seem to be punctual....or maybe I'm not really trying. Lol...I can't decide which is worst! I wound up the week by going secret shopping and splurging my hard earned money on a brand new pair of jeans...The more the merrier!! What was disastrous however was that I spent ages in the trial room trying on size 28.....after an hour and 8 jeans later, I was forced to conclude that Its time for size 30.Indeed I'm Growing up....which is pretty normal for a 21 year old!!! Sigh!! Also I think I am in love with a young Leonardo Di Caprio in Catch Me If U Can!!! An Awesome flick that I'd finally got to see recently. Going by the predictions of the weather man...it does look like the harsh summer is here to stay, I really can't seem to get anything done during the day. Guess I'd better turn Nocturnal......coz the sun is definitely not lettin' up!!! Time to Sign off for now
Adios!!
P.S The IPL Season 5 has got off to a start.....it's a real pleasure watching batsmen club the hapless bowlers for huge sixes. Excitement and Entertainment Unlimited and fingers crossed for the Deccan Chargers!!!
There are many red letter days in history…..yesterday was Indian Cricket’s. A day that will go down in cricketing history, as Rahul Dravid announced his retirement from all forms of cricket, both international and domestic. The man often nicknamed ‘The Wall’ and ‘Mr.Dependable’ chose a quiet moment via a press conference to announce his retirement. The fact that he didn’t choose to retire in action, heightened my respect for the great man. Cricketers have known to retire amidst standing ovations from huge crowds and team mates. More like a gala event I Say. When asked why he didn’t choose to retire while playing, Dravid replied with an honest “I can’t wait that long, I’d be robbing a younger talent of an opportunity to prove himself on the team’. For all those who followed Indian Cricket devotedly in the late 90’s and early 2000’s…Dravid’s contribution would definitely stand out. Be it the flourishing 180 he notched up along with VVS Laxman’s immortal 281 against Australia at Kolkata, 2001 or the splendid 270 he scored against Pakistan at Rawalpindi in the summer of ’04, Dravid always lead from the front. Classy strokes, a solid defence and alert fielding are the traits I will always remember him for. There was a time when Backstreet boys ruled the roost in the music charts,when the digital world was rapidly accelerating. It was at the same time that Indian cricket saw the formation of a formidable trio in The Wall-Mr Dravid, The Little Maestro-Mr. Tendulkar and the Very Very Special-Mr.Laxman. Led by a very classy,highly unrewarded and probably best captain since Kapil Dev- Sourav Ganguly, Indian Cricket was at it's very best. The Glory Days as I call them. It was always a pleasure to watch these legends fight it out on the field. These legends were the -reason I fell in love with the gentleman’s game-Cricket. Though I took more pleasure in taking to the field myself and playing with boys of various ages against my dear mother’s wishes, I always took time to watch Rahul Dravid play. Crazy fights for the TV remote ensued in my household when I wanted to watch cricket. I miss the beautiful days when all the cousins and elders grouped around the TV set to watch Dravid take control of the game. We would later indulge in a deep discussion about his game.
Dravid In Action
He is without doubt the most ‘used’ man in the team. He would bat at whatever position he was asked to, donned the wicketkeeper’s gloves for some period of time as well. Not a complaint ever escaped his lips. The word Controversy never existed in his dictionary. For as long as I can remember he expressed himself through his cricket…..preferred to let his bat do all the talking. I would explode in anger at the merciless way Rahul Dravid was used without giving a thought for the man’s self-respect and seniority. . There was a time when he was ignored by the selectors despite proving himself time and again. Yet at yesterday’s press conference Dravid spoke highly of the Indian Team, the selectors and fans. For all the faith and support they showered on him. For all the gallant contributions he made, he was most of the times overshadowed by Sachin Tendulkar… I've never saw him complaining. When India won the World Cup last year, people lauded Sachin Tendulkar as someone who bore Indian Cricket’s weight for 20 years. Sachin could never have done that without Rahul Dravid. Batting at the crease, at times with half the Indian side Back in the dressing room, Dravid would steer a rocking ship in stormy waters with grace and aplomb. Be it in his classy cover drives, a particular type of hook shot only he perfected or his trademark shy smile, ‘Dravidian’ (as I call him) was always a pleasure to watch. Sweetly timed shots were his forte. As soon as the bat connected with the ball, there was no doubt that it would race to the boundary. No chance for the fielders there :D. Not one single batsmen of the present era, has learned which ball to leave and which to play. Dravid was a perfectionist in that. Patience at the crease was an important tool for him. Always termed as a defensive batsman, Dravid won games that were deemed lost.
Despite being a reliable, consistent and accomplished player he was forced most of the times to slog and work hard for his position on the team, the same position that was always guaranteed for Sachin Tendulkar. Not fair, but again no complaints here from “The Wall”. He took it upon himself to fight bravely for his position on the team. He casually mentions that it helped him stay alert and in focus. Off the field I will always remember Dravid for the gentleman he is. Quiet, Alluring, Subtle and for the Introvert that he is, I will Always love Rahul Dravid. He is the unsung hero of Indian Cricket. His retirement, I’m sure will be just the first among more to come...Sachin is sure to follow along with VVS. Already watching cricket without these greats is oh so boring. Modern Cricket might produce timely heroes but not legends any more. Cricket no longer seems to be the yesteryear's gentleman's game......the commercial version is taking over, Never a good sign.As accolades and praise pours in from all corners of the world, i am left pondering if watching cricket will ever be the same. Cricket has also been restructured to suit the fast paced nature of modern world. The emotional fool that I am, I did shed precious tears at the thought that there will be no more "Wall" to rebuild the Indian Innings in times of distress. There will be no more alert catches in the Slips. As we watch a new batch of young Indian Cricketers take on the challenge of building a formidable team...the inputs, advice and presence of Rahul Dravid in the Indian Dressing Room will be sorely missed. Rightly summed up in the words of the Little Maestro, “There was and is only one Rahul Dravid".
Today is the day m never gonna forget for a long time to come......never has a day been more tiring, nerve-racking and exciting as today.....I did get placed in INFOSYS....:D...Woot Woot!!!
My day started off at 5:15 am....i had to go 160 km from my place for the placement session of INFOSYS. After the usual morning work...i dressed carefully in an attire i was not quite comfy with...Salwar Kammez..:P.After a bumpy, dusty and hilarious bus ride we reached Indur Institute of Science and Technology,Siddipet, Medak District at 9:25 pm. Registration was done....and after an enlightening PPT by some hotshot INFY guy....we finally went through the written exam....was quite easy one part and challenging the other part....hmm so could i be selected???? i was left pondering that until 2.50 pm...was tensed....yet when the results were announced i was there......:D....
1183 ppl appeared for the exam....only 102 crossed the first hurdle....me included..not a big deal some might say.....hell of i deal i say..:)
I was taken across for my HR interview. I messed up a previous interview...so there was reason for me to be tensed....Yet i pulled myself together...and confidently strode in.
HR was a very nice man...North Indian...he put me at ease...tested my confidence and communication abilities....put me under pressure....and finally again at ease...:) It was a good one....but yet again i was tensed....Interview was done at 4:00pm and after a nervous and heart stopping 2hrs 40 mins...results were announced and i was IN...:) The tension in room 305 was palpable....enormous.Those 2 hrs 40 min taught me a lot....about patience, about belief and self confidence...not to forget faith in GOD... It might not me a big thing for many out there.....but for me it was everything....I was in a college were placements were not guaranteed....I had to earn it on my own...and i did just that by travelling 320 kms up and down....and if there was one person who supported me through all this...it was my MOTHER....I love you mom...and this is for you...and only you..:)...i am no one without you. When the INFY guy announced the results and ended his short speech with See you at Mysore....a collective whoop and cheering went on in the Room...hugs were bestowed and hands shaken...Congrats was the most used word for the moment...:) After another scary cab ride i entered home at 9:25 pm....famished (Coz i ate just once in the entire day) and tired(didnt get mre than 2 hrs sleep) but the smile my mumma gave me was worth a million bucks....yeah i made her happy....:) and therein lies my happiness. Calls and msgs followed mostly from relatives....dear aunts and my darling granny and of course a few close friends....:) Nevertheless it was a job well done...:) m going to go and sleep for 24hrs straight....lol....my day has ended on the best possible note....a happy and elated call from Shamu...:) And yet again i had discovered another bitter truth.....People around you are not always happy if something good happens to u for a change!!!....yew i say!!!
yup..m headed for my pilow and comforter...good night....I have a long struggle ahead.....And thank you dear Grandpa....i know you will always look upon me grandpa...yes you are there always for me...I Miss You so much....and last but not the least....GOD.....I believe in you...I am a believer today!!!
I was just listening to the song Linger by The Cranberries....and the comments on YouTube all were inclined towards pointing out that the old times were the best.....everything about the past was more honest an real....the music, the people, their love, and their affection. So what is it about the present that is so unreal...??? I think the answer lies in the fact that we live a lot in the virtual world these days. We are just too obsessed by it. There are virtual smileys, virtual hugs,virtual love and even virtual money.... whoa!! I vividly remember my childhood.....the summers were so balmy and lazy that we would just find so much happiness in wiling away time with cousins and family...evenings would find us playing cricket or taking a trip to the nearby temple. there was so much satisfaction in doing just that. Nowadays a moment not spent in front of the computer or not logging in on Facebook is considered a total waste. Oh yes....I find my cousin 24/7 logged on Facebook...he just has to be the first person to like his friend's post. The fact that people take so much time adjusting their makeup and hair to pose for a photo justifies this fact. Their Facebook photo update would otherwise be messed up they say. True, people are more connected to each other these days...but I wonder how many actually feel the real connection?? Relationships are more make and break type and so are marriages. Sex seems to rule over our lives. I am actually shocked to find out that this attitude is fast catching up in India...the country were marriage was something more than Sex....it was more of a sacred bond. Once upon a time there was a clear distinction between these two....but the same distinction appears blurred today. What pains me even more is the fact that the concept of love has undergone a total makeover. Today Love is Sex and Sex is love. The fact that Love has a deeper meaning beyond physical boundaries doesn't seem to appeal much to people. All this fast paced life...giving a random moment for everyone and forgetting important commitments for much more virtual one's saddens me no end. Is it really worthy enough for the virtual world to take control of our lives??? There is really a limit for everything. True, that technology has aided us in a lot of ways we can't even begin to imagine but a limit is a limit. One of my friend complained to me that her boyfriend had more friends on Facebook than her. She wanted to reign supreme on this issue and hence she went ahead on a friends adding spree of Facebook. Result = She had more strangers than friends by the end of the day but yet she didn't care...she was happy. I was reduced to rolling my eyes at her. When i was just a little kiddo....I simply could not wait to grow up fast and take on the world. But now when I am actually growing up to be a responsible mature young lady..I find myself desperately dreaming and hoping for those beautiful and happy summers. When life was just more simple and easy and Happiness was always in Abundance that you could just take it for granted. I miss those days so desperately and the fact that they might never actually come back makes me shed painful tears. I pity the children of today...they will never know what they missed. The rat race to create your own identity in this highly competitive and highly manipulative world begins for them right from when they are born. Today I feel so proud and lucky to say i was born in the 90's. That happens to be the best period of my life. When my grandmother recollects her childhood i feel so jealous not to have been born then because she sure did learn and lived much more than we can ever hope to do in a Lifetime. It is only today that I've come to understand the meaning of the adage OLD is GOLD. It Truly Is :). Below is the link for another beautiful song of the Cranberries....Ode to My Family
